你真的开心吗？（下）
正文翻译
Are you happy?
你真的开心吗？
Are you happy?
你真的开心吗？
评论翻译
Anonymous
I'm living my dream. And I couldn't be happier.
Let me tell you my story.
When I was in 11th grade, I took up Humanities. My parents (even though they were supportive) were dead set on me being the topper in every exam, while in school because according to them, (which is true) in India, an ambitious person taking up Humanities cannot achieve something without bringing in top grades. When I was about to give my 11th finals, I realized taking up Humanities was a mistake. I was only memorising shit and couldn't use practical knowledge, do field work or learn to gain knowledge since I was always busy in the race to achieve top grades. In the process, I lost myself. I became depressed because even though I was the topper, I felt I didn’t have enough knowledge about my subjects. And what was I studying for anyway? To get into the “prestigious” Delhi University?! I realized it was not worth it. Moreover, being a General category student, I couldn't afford to just mug up shit for getting a 97% and then get my ass admitted to DU and suffer there for another 3 years. Hence I made up my mind to go abroad after class 12. I researched a lot about US and UK universities and finally made a list of all the possible universities I could attend.
Finally, on September 2013, I was ready to fly to the States. A few months earlier, I had been accepted into the University of Chicago with a fully funded scholarship covering my tuition, accomodation, miscellaneous and a stipend. I was more than happy, and sitting there, on the airport, I couldn't wait to embark on my journey. My parents came to see me at the airport and even though they couldn't come along with me due to the expensive airfares, I was more than grateful to have them by my side before finally leaving Indian soil.
A year passed by. I was getting used to the American way of life. I was getting more exposure than ever before and worked hard to maintain my grades. I socialized more and went backpacking on weekends to nearby districts with my American friends. I also did a couple of internships and won recommendation letters. I worked part time jobs and earned money for paying my rents. Even though I missed my family, it was hard to come home every year. Moreover life in America was way busier than India, and it was a blessing in disguise for me since it prevented me from having any depressing thoughts about going home.
I finally graduated college last year. (Also, was one of the top 5 graduates) My parents attended my graduation ceremony, and after the graduation ceremony got over, we partied the entire night till the morning next day. It was probably the best day of my life. I had my family, my friends and my boyfriend by my side. Moreover my professors couldn't stop congratulating my parents about me being such a good student at UoC and bringing laurels to the University.
Finally, in January this year, after living and working in the States for a few months after my graduation, I came back to India. Here, I enrolled myself in a UPSC coaching centre in the NCR while also winning the “Teach For India Fellowship”. As of now, I'm doing my UPSC coaching as well as working as a Fellow for Teach For India. I have never been happier in my life. I only hope to achieve my dream job of working in the Indian Foreign Service.
我正在实现我的梦想。我实在是太高兴了。
现在让我来告诉你我的故事吧。
当我在11年级的时候，我选择了人文学科。虽然我的父母很支持我，但是他们在我上学的时候就一直紧紧的盯着我，因为他们要求我在每次考试中都拔得头筹，因为根据他们的说法，（这是事实）在印度，一个有抱负的人学习人文学科，如果不能取得高分，那他就不可能有所成就。所以当我即将参加第11届期末考试时，我意识到选修人文学科是个错误。我只是在死记硬背，因为我总是忙于争取最好的成绩，所以我不能使用实际的知识，不能通过实地工作或学习来获取知识。在这个过程中，我迷失了自我。我变得很沮丧，因为尽管我是顶尖的，但我仍然对我自己的学科没有足够的了解。我为什么要学习呢？为了进入“著名的”德里大学？我意识到这不值得。此外，作为一个普通学生，我不能因为得了97%的成绩就把自己搞得一团糟，然后被录取，再在那里忍受3年。因此，我决定在12年级后出国。我做了很多关于美国和英国大学的研究，最后列出了所有我可能上的大学的清单。
终于，在2013年9月，我准备好了飞往美国。几个月前，我被芝加哥大学录取，获得了全额奖学金，包括学费、住宿费、杂费和津贴。我非常高兴，坐在机场的那一刻，我迫不及待地想踏上旅途。我的父母到机场来看我，尽管由于昂贵的机票，他们不能和我一起去，但是我还是很感激在我最终离开印度的领土之前，有他们在我身边。
一年过去了。我开始习惯美国的生活方式。我获得了前所未有的社交网络，并努力保持我的成绩。我参加了很多的社交活动，并在周末和我的美国朋友一起去附近的地区背包旅行。我也做过几次实习，还获得了推荐信。我还做兼职挣钱付房租。虽然我想念我的家人，但每年回家都很难。而且，在美国的生活比印度要忙得多，这对我来说是因祸得福，因为它阻止了我因为对家乡的思恋而产生的消极的想法。
去年我终于大学毕业了。我的父母来参加了我的毕业典礼，毕业典礼结束后，我们彻夜狂欢到了第二天早上。那可能是我一生中最美好的一天。因为我的家人，我的朋友和我的男朋友都在我的身边。此外，我的教授们也在不停的祝贺我的父母，因为我是一个非常优秀的学生，我为学校带来了荣誉。
终于，今年1月，毕业后在美国生活、工作了几个月之后，我回到了印度。在这里，我参加了NCR的UPSC教练中心，同时还赢得了“印度教学奖学金”。到目前为止，我正在做我的UPSC教练，并且是“印度教”的研究员。我这辈子从来没有这么开心过。我现在就希望将来能在印度的外交部工作，去实现我的梦想。
I'm living my dream. And I couldn't be happier.
Let me tell you my story.
When I was in 11th grade, I took up Humanities. My parents (even though they were supportive) were dead set on me being the topper in every exam, while in school because according to them, (which is true) in India, an ambitious person taking up Humanities cannot achieve something without bringing in top grades. When I was about to give my 11th finals, I realized taking up Humanities was a mistake. I was only memorising shit and couldn't use practical knowledge, do field work or learn to gain knowledge since I was always busy in the race to achieve top grades. In the process, I lost myself. I became depressed because even though I was the topper, I felt I didn’t have enough knowledge about my subjects. And what was I studying for anyway? To get into the “prestigious” Delhi University?! I realized it was not worth it. Moreover, being a General category student, I couldn't afford to just mug up shit for getting a 97% and then get my ass admitted to DU and suffer there for another 3 years. Hence I made up my mind to go abroad after class 12. I researched a lot about US and UK universities and finally made a list of all the possible universities I could attend.
Finally, on September 2013, I was ready to fly to the States. A few months earlier, I had been accepted into the University of Chicago with a fully funded scholarship covering my tuition, accomodation, miscellaneous and a stipend. I was more than happy, and sitting there, on the airport, I couldn't wait to embark on my journey. My parents came to see me at the airport and even though they couldn't come along with me due to the expensive airfares, I was more than grateful to have them by my side before finally leaving Indian soil.
A year passed by. I was getting used to the American way of life. I was getting more exposure than ever before and worked hard to maintain my grades. I socialized more and went backpacking on weekends to nearby districts with my American friends. I also did a couple of internships and won recommendation letters. I worked part time jobs and earned money for paying my rents. Even though I missed my family, it was hard to come home every year. Moreover life in America was way busier than India, and it was a blessing in disguise for me since it prevented me from having any depressing thoughts about going home.
I finally graduated college last year. (Also, was one of the top 5 graduates) My parents attended my graduation ceremony, and after the graduation ceremony got over, we partied the entire night till the morning next day. It was probably the best day of my life. I had my family, my friends and my boyfriend by my side. Moreover my professors couldn't stop congratulating my parents about me being such a good student at UoC and bringing laurels to the University.
Finally, in January this year, after living and working in the States for a few months after my graduation, I came back to India. Here, I enrolled myself in a UPSC coaching centre in the NCR while also winning the “Teach For India Fellowship”. As of now, I'm doing my UPSC coaching as well as working as a Fellow for Teach For India. I have never been happier in my life. I only hope to achieve my dream job of working in the Indian Foreign Service.
我正在实现我的梦想。我实在是太高兴了。
现在让我来告诉你我的故事吧。
当我在11年级的时候，我选择了人文学科。虽然我的父母很支持我，但是他们在我上学的时候就一直紧紧的盯着我，因为他们要求我在每次考试中都拔得头筹，因为根据他们的说法，（这是事实）在印度，一个有抱负的人学习人文学科，如果不能取得高分，那他就不可能有所成就。所以当我即将参加第11届期末考试时，我意识到选修人文学科是个错误。我只是在死记硬背，因为我总是忙于争取最好的成绩，所以我不能使用实际的知识，不能通过实地工作或学习来获取知识。在这个过程中，我迷失了自我。我变得很沮丧，因为尽管我是顶尖的，但我仍然对我自己的学科没有足够的了解。我为什么要学习呢？为了进入“著名的”德里大学？我意识到这不值得。此外，作为一个普通学生，我不能因为得了97%的成绩就把自己搞得一团糟，然后被录取，再在那里忍受3年。因此，我决定在12年级后出国。我做了很多关于美国和英国大学的研究，最后列出了所有我可能上的大学的清单。
终于，在2013年9月，我准备好了飞往美国。几个月前，我被芝加哥大学录取，获得了全额奖学金，包括学费、住宿费、杂费和津贴。我非常高兴，坐在机场的那一刻，我迫不及待地想踏上旅途。我的父母到机场来看我，尽管由于昂贵的机票，他们不能和我一起去，但是我还是很感激在我最终离开印度的领土之前，有他们在我身边。
一年过去了。我开始习惯美国的生活方式。我获得了前所未有的社交网络，并努力保持我的成绩。我参加了很多的社交活动，并在周末和我的美国朋友一起去附近的地区背包旅行。我也做过几次实习，还获得了推荐信。我还做兼职挣钱付房租。虽然我想念我的家人，但每年回家都很难。而且，在美国的生活比印度要忙得多，这对我来说是因祸得福，因为它阻止了我因为对家乡的思恋而产生的消极的想法。
去年我终于大学毕业了。我的父母来参加了我的毕业典礼，毕业典礼结束后，我们彻夜狂欢到了第二天早上。那可能是我一生中最美好的一天。因为我的家人，我的朋友和我的男朋友都在我的身边。此外，我的教授们也在不停的祝贺我的父母，因为我是一个非常优秀的学生，我为学校带来了荣誉。
终于，今年1月，毕业后在美国生活、工作了几个月之后，我回到了印度。在这里，我参加了NCR的UPSC教练中心，同时还赢得了“印度教学奖学金”。到目前为止，我正在做我的UPSC教练，并且是“印度教”的研究员。我这辈子从来没有这么开心过。我现在就希望将来能在印度的外交部工作，去实现我的梦想。
Matias Sebert,?Future Musical Therapist
To be honest, I don’t even know. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. But overall mentally, I don’t think I am.
I’m just used to being attacked verbally by everyone who lives with me, and I think it really gets to me sometimes. They make fun of me being myself. So I lose a lot of confidence that way.
But I think if I really got the alone time I needed, if I would be treated better, maybe I might be happier. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and I feel bad for saying that I am not happy.
I’d say physically I appear happy, but to me, I know that I am not mentally happy. It is a hard time for everyone right now with the coronavirus spreading and infecting people.
It is causing me to be able to see my friends and not be able to go to the place that is my main stress reliever, school. My only stress relievers are being on quora and listening to music. That is why I have been recently been addicted to it.
I have been worrying so much about the coronavirus and how it is going to affect me and a lot of the people I am close to. I’ve just been worried about everything.
I just feel that this is going to affect the rest of our lives and how we take precautions to things. And I hope it won’t affect band activities at my school and other things.
So I’ve just been super stressed from the coronavirus and other things that have been happening in my life and I can’t wait for everything to be resolved. It really has taken a toll on a lot of people and has left a lot of people in distress.
说实话，我也不知道我开不开心。我知道我有很多值得感恩的事情，但总的来说，我觉得我自己过得并不开心。
我习惯了和我住在一起的每个人，对我进行言语攻击，这让我觉得真的很难受。他们嘲笑我，这让我更加失去自信了。
但我想如果我真的有足够的时间让我一个人待着，如果别人能对我更友好一点，也许我会更快乐。我知道我有很多值得感激的事情，但是很抱歉，我想说我真的一点都不开心。
虽然我看起来很开心，但是对我来说，我知道我精神上并不开心。当前，新冠肺炎疫情正在蔓延，每个人都处于一个艰难时期。
这次的疫情让我没有办法去见我的朋友，让我不能去我的缓解压力的地方——学校。所以我现在唯一缓解压力的方式就是上quora去听音乐。这就是我为什么最近会对他上瘾的原因。
我一直很担心新冠病毒，担心它会影响我和我身边的人。我总是在担心每一件事情。
我只是觉得这件事会影响到我们将来的生活，所以我们现在该思考采取何种预防措施。我希望这不会影响到我在学校的乐队活动和一些其他事情。
我被新冠病毒和生活中的很多事情都压得喘不过气来了，我已经迫不及待的想要解决这所有的问题。这确实给很多人造成了损失，让很多人陷入痛苦之中。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
To be honest, I don’t even know. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. But overall mentally, I don’t think I am.
I’m just used to being attacked verbally by everyone who lives with me, and I think it really gets to me sometimes. They make fun of me being myself. So I lose a lot of confidence that way.
But I think if I really got the alone time I needed, if I would be treated better, maybe I might be happier. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and I feel bad for saying that I am not happy.
I’d say physically I appear happy, but to me, I know that I am not mentally happy. It is a hard time for everyone right now with the coronavirus spreading and infecting people.
It is causing me to be able to see my friends and not be able to go to the place that is my main stress reliever, school. My only stress relievers are being on quora and listening to music. That is why I have been recently been addicted to it.
I have been worrying so much about the coronavirus and how it is going to affect me and a lot of the people I am close to. I’ve just been worried about everything.
I just feel that this is going to affect the rest of our lives and how we take precautions to things. And I hope it won’t affect band activities at my school and other things.
So I’ve just been super stressed from the coronavirus and other things that have been happening in my life and I can’t wait for everything to be resolved. It really has taken a toll on a lot of people and has left a lot of people in distress.
说实话，我也不知道我开不开心。我知道我有很多值得感恩的事情，但总的来说，我觉得我自己过得并不开心。
我习惯了和我住在一起的每个人，对我进行言语攻击，这让我觉得真的很难受。他们嘲笑我，这让我更加失去自信了。
但我想如果我真的有足够的时间让我一个人待着，如果别人能对我更友好一点，也许我会更快乐。我知道我有很多值得感激的事情，但是很抱歉，我想说我真的一点都不开心。
虽然我看起来很开心，但是对我来说，我知道我精神上并不开心。当前，新冠肺炎疫情正在蔓延，每个人都处于一个艰难时期。
这次的疫情让我没有办法去见我的朋友，让我不能去我的缓解压力的地方——学校。所以我现在唯一缓解压力的方式就是上quora去听音乐。这就是我为什么最近会对他上瘾的原因。
我一直很担心新冠病毒，担心它会影响我和我身边的人。我总是在担心每一件事情。
我只是觉得这件事会影响到我们将来的生活，所以我们现在该思考采取何种预防措施。我希望这不会影响到我在学校的乐队活动和一些其他事情。
我被新冠病毒和生活中的很多事情都压得喘不过气来了，我已经迫不及待的想要解决这所有的问题。这确实给很多人造成了损失，让很多人陷入痛苦之中。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Anonymous
Not really, that's why I had to remain anonymous.
Reasons of my unhappiness:
I am 30 - female, still single, never had a boyfriend and never understood the meaning of fun in this life.
I was born with a disorder in one of my eyes. My parents were worried. But, they didn't give up. My vision can not be corrected because it's a rare kind, and without accompanying me for more than a month or so, no one can identity it at all. I look perfect in general. And, by chance pretty too.
Since childhood, I have lived my life in struggles and hardships. My parents used to tell me that life gets tougher with time. So, I accepted the Mantra of hard work and followed it religiously. Became the topper of my class, and continued the session throughout the school life. Many a times, I used to see my friends enjoying with their families, playing and having fun. My fun had always been indulged into my studies. I also developed few hobbies like sketching, dancing and reading.
Like many others, I decided to go on the path of engineering. I worked hard with utmost determination. But, I couldn't get sexted through campus somehow. I couldn't make it at last. Five companies visited my campus, and I just got my name in the failures list.
I was devastated. I thought of trying for off campus placements, but I didn't know that my only failure will ruin me completely.
After completing my final year, our so called relatives started harassing me emotionally. I was somewhat overweight then. So, in all, they had enough points to convince my parents that I am a loser and my parents will not be able to find a groom for me. So, they had to rush on.
By then, we were already suffering from financial troubles in our family business. I decided to take part time classes which could at least make me continued with my studies and bring a financial hand for all of us.
Insecurities gave my parents an aim to make me get married as early as possible. I lost the trust of my parents.
I never had a vehicle, so I had to use foot for reaching anywhere. We live in a town where many modes of transport like autos are not available easily.
I spend most of my time at home itself, either studying (privately appearing for some government exams) or busy in household activities.
In the meanwhile, we lost our business, and got indebted like hell.
Today's scenario:
We live in a house where rainy seasons are not at all welcomed. The whole house starts getting a leakage in its walls.
I can't even afford those basic possessions which may bring a little smile on one's face.
I deactivated my what's app, Facebook accounts because they give me lots of disappointments when I look towards my friends and their lifestyles today.
And like all other customaries, friends, left me like they never appeared in this life.
Life is clueless.
并不完全是这样，所以我必须匿名回答这个问题。
我不开心的原因有：
1.我今年30岁，性别女，至今仍然单身，从未有过男朋友，也从来不知道生活中的快乐在哪儿。
2.我有一只眼睛天生就有点毛病。我的父母很担心，但是，他们从来没有放弃过治疗。但是我的视力无法矫正，因为这是一种罕见的现象，所以，如果你不跟我相处一个多月的时间，你根本就发现不了我这个毛病。我看起来很完美，而且，我还长得很漂亮。
3.从小，我的生活就充满了挣扎和艰辛。我父母曾经告诉我，生活会变得越来越艰难。所以，我接受了努力工作的信条，并且虔诚地遵循它。我成为了我们班上的尖子生，并在整个学校生活中一直如此。很多时候，我看到我的朋友们和他们的家人在一起玩耍，他们玩得很开心。而我的乐趣是一直沉浸在我的学习中。我也培养了一些爱好，比如素描、跳舞和阅读。
4.和很多其他人一样，我决定继续前进。我竭尽全力的努力工作，但是，我还是没有被录取。我最终还是没有做到。有五家公司参观了我的学校，而我却在失败列表中看到了我的名字。我崩溃了。我想过参加校外实习，但我不知道这唯一的失败会彻底毁了我。
5.当我完成最后一年的学业后，我那些所谓的亲戚就开始在情感上打压我。我那时有点胖。所以，他们有足够的理由说服我的父母，我是个失败者，而我的父母将无法为我找到新郎。所以，他们不得不着急我的终身大事。
6.那时，我们的家族企业已经陷入财务危机。所以我决定参加兼职课程，这样至少可以让我继续学习，并为我们所有人带来经济上的帮助。
7.我父母的不安全感，导致他们现在的主要目标就是尽快的让我结婚。我失去了我父母对我的信任。
8.我没有车，所以我不得不走着去任何地方。我们住在一个很多交通工具，比如汽车，都不容易到达的城镇。
9.我大部分时间都呆在家里，要么是学习（参加一些政府考试），要么是忙于家务活。
10.与此同时，我们失去了生意，负债累累。
现如今的情况是：
1.我们住在一栋不欢迎房子里。雨季整个房子的墙壁都在漏水。
2.我甚至买不起那些可能使自己的脸上出现笑容的基本物品。
3.我关闭了我的what’s 应用和facebook 账号，因为当我看到我朋友们的生活方式时，我会非常低落。
4.和所有其他的情况一样，我的朋友们离开了我，就像他们从未出现在我的生活中一样。
5.我对生活无能为力。
Not really, that's why I had to remain anonymous.
Reasons of my unhappiness:
I am 30 - female, still single, never had a boyfriend and never understood the meaning of fun in this life.
I was born with a disorder in one of my eyes. My parents were worried. But, they didn't give up. My vision can not be corrected because it's a rare kind, and without accompanying me for more than a month or so, no one can identity it at all. I look perfect in general. And, by chance pretty too.
Since childhood, I have lived my life in struggles and hardships. My parents used to tell me that life gets tougher with time. So, I accepted the Mantra of hard work and followed it religiously. Became the topper of my class, and continued the session throughout the school life. Many a times, I used to see my friends enjoying with their families, playing and having fun. My fun had always been indulged into my studies. I also developed few hobbies like sketching, dancing and reading.
Like many others, I decided to go on the path of engineering. I worked hard with utmost determination. But, I couldn't get sexted through campus somehow. I couldn't make it at last. Five companies visited my campus, and I just got my name in the failures list.
I was devastated. I thought of trying for off campus placements, but I didn't know that my only failure will ruin me completely.
After completing my final year, our so called relatives started harassing me emotionally. I was somewhat overweight then. So, in all, they had enough points to convince my parents that I am a loser and my parents will not be able to find a groom for me. So, they had to rush on.
By then, we were already suffering from financial troubles in our family business. I decided to take part time classes which could at least make me continued with my studies and bring a financial hand for all of us.
Insecurities gave my parents an aim to make me get married as early as possible. I lost the trust of my parents.
I never had a vehicle, so I had to use foot for reaching anywhere. We live in a town where many modes of transport like autos are not available easily.
I spend most of my time at home itself, either studying (privately appearing for some government exams) or busy in household activities.
In the meanwhile, we lost our business, and got indebted like hell.
Today's scenario:
We live in a house where rainy seasons are not at all welcomed. The whole house starts getting a leakage in its walls.
I can't even afford those basic possessions which may bring a little smile on one's face.
I deactivated my what's app, Facebook accounts because they give me lots of disappointments when I look towards my friends and their lifestyles today.
And like all other customaries, friends, left me like they never appeared in this life.
Life is clueless.
并不完全是这样，所以我必须匿名回答这个问题。
我不开心的原因有：
1.我今年30岁，性别女，至今仍然单身，从未有过男朋友，也从来不知道生活中的快乐在哪儿。
2.我有一只眼睛天生就有点毛病。我的父母很担心，但是，他们从来没有放弃过治疗。但是我的视力无法矫正，因为这是一种罕见的现象，所以，如果你不跟我相处一个多月的时间，你根本就发现不了我这个毛病。我看起来很完美，而且，我还长得很漂亮。
3.从小，我的生活就充满了挣扎和艰辛。我父母曾经告诉我，生活会变得越来越艰难。所以，我接受了努力工作的信条，并且虔诚地遵循它。我成为了我们班上的尖子生，并在整个学校生活中一直如此。很多时候，我看到我的朋友们和他们的家人在一起玩耍，他们玩得很开心。而我的乐趣是一直沉浸在我的学习中。我也培养了一些爱好，比如素描、跳舞和阅读。
4.和很多其他人一样，我决定继续前进。我竭尽全力的努力工作，但是，我还是没有被录取。我最终还是没有做到。有五家公司参观了我的学校，而我却在失败列表中看到了我的名字。我崩溃了。我想过参加校外实习，但我不知道这唯一的失败会彻底毁了我。
5.当我完成最后一年的学业后，我那些所谓的亲戚就开始在情感上打压我。我那时有点胖。所以，他们有足够的理由说服我的父母，我是个失败者，而我的父母将无法为我找到新郎。所以，他们不得不着急我的终身大事。
6.那时，我们的家族企业已经陷入财务危机。所以我决定参加兼职课程，这样至少可以让我继续学习，并为我们所有人带来经济上的帮助。
7.我父母的不安全感，导致他们现在的主要目标就是尽快的让我结婚。我失去了我父母对我的信任。
8.我没有车，所以我不得不走着去任何地方。我们住在一个很多交通工具，比如汽车，都不容易到达的城镇。
9.我大部分时间都呆在家里，要么是学习（参加一些政府考试），要么是忙于家务活。
10.与此同时，我们失去了生意，负债累累。
现如今的情况是：
1.我们住在一栋不欢迎房子里。雨季整个房子的墙壁都在漏水。
2.我甚至买不起那些可能使自己的脸上出现笑容的基本物品。
3.我关闭了我的what’s 应用和facebook 账号，因为当我看到我朋友们的生活方式时，我会非常低落。
4.和所有其他的情况一样，我的朋友们离开了我，就像他们从未出现在我的生活中一样。
5.我对生活无能为力。
Emir Radoncic,?studied at Blah Blah Blah
I’m definitely in a better place academically than I was last year, but my situation is a bit worse.
My youngest brother is getting surgery(I don’t want to be too specific about this) next Friday so that should be fun.
Speaking of him, my mom is pretty much putting all of her energy and soul into this kid but his unpleasant nature is unrelenting. My mom hoped that he would be grateful and start?trying?to get better, but he’s still the same dick that takes over every single room in the house except my own.
You may think that his problems wouldn’t affect me, but trust me, they do. My mom rarely makes dinner anymore so we usually just eat fast food or shitty microwaveable “meals.” This, of course, is not the healthiest lifestyle so I’ve been feeling pretty shitty physically lately.
She’s extremely paranoid about more run-ins with CPS, so we pretty much have to pretend that our lives are sustainable and definitely not negatively impacting us.
I’m falling back into my habit of spending too much time on the internet after months of making an effort to spend my days in a way that will allow me to actually not have them eradicated from my memory. I mean, my days have been blending together for the past few weeks now; I don’t even remember what I did two days ago.
I recently got into the habit of watching tv a few times a week though, which is nice. I’m currently on season 7 of IASIP. :)
I have a budgie now, which has led me to believe that an animal-related career might not be what I want pursue. It’s great and all, but taking care of her is a pretty lame chore that uses up a lot of the already scarce supply of energy that I have.
Everyone has a really silly, impossible pipe dream; in my case, it’s acting. I’m 16 and I have absolutely no acting experience .
I don’t run everyday anymore.
I can’t even manage to stay up past 12. Out of context, that’s great news, but this is another sign that my body just isn’t healthy.
I haven’t cried..in a really long time..not because I have no reasons to but because I’m stuck in this really shitty middle ground between sadness and apathy.
Like most human beings, I still smile and laugh and joke around; but not often enough.
To wrap this up, I’m too done with life to be happy.
与去年相比，我现在的学习成绩肯定比去年好很多了，但是我现在的状况依然有点糟糕。
因为我最小的弟弟下周五就要做手术了（对此，我并不想细说）。
说到他，我妈妈几乎把她所有的精力和心思全都投入到了这个孩子身上，但是他那无情的本性令人心生厌恶。我的妈妈希望他能心存感激然后努力康复，但他还是那个只会占用我房间的混蛋。
你可能认为他的问题不会影响到我，但是请相信我，他对我的影响非常大。因为他，我妈妈现在很少做饭了，所以我们只能吃外卖或者是低劣的微波炉“餐”。当然，这不是很健康的生活方式，所以我感觉我的身体最近开始变的很糟糕了。
她特别担心这种不健康的生活方式会被儿童保护署发现，从而产生不必要的冲突，所以我们必须得假装我们的生活是很正常的，这种生活方式绝对不会给我们带来任何的负面影响。
经过几个月的努力，我又回到了我从前的生活状态：在互联网上花费大量的时间，这会让我暂时忘记我的生活。我的意思是，在过去的几周里，我一直在混日子。我甚至都不记得我前两天做了什么。
我最近养成了一个星期看几次电视的习惯，这对我来说真的很好。我现在正在看《国际智慧网络》的第七季。
我现在养了一只虎皮鹦鹉，它让我明白了与动物有关的职业可能不是我想要追求的。虽然养它很好，但是照顾它却是件非常无聊的差事，它消耗了我本来就为数不多的精力。
每个人都有一个非常愚蠢、不可能实现的白日梦。对我来说，这个白日梦就是表演。我现在已经16岁了，但是我完全没有任何的表演经验。
我不再每天都跑步了。
我现在熬夜甚至都不能超过12点了。从一方面来说，这也算是个好消息，但是这也是我身体开始变得不健康的另一个迹象。
我已经很久没有哭了，不是因为我没有理由，而是因为我现在被困在了悲伤和冷漠之间。
我就像大多数人一样，每天保持着微笑、大笑，和别人开着玩笑，但是这还不够。
总的来说，我现在已经受够了这样的生活，所以对我来说，没有任何快乐可言。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I’m definitely in a better place academically than I was last year, but my situation is a bit worse.
My youngest brother is getting surgery(I don’t want to be too specific about this) next Friday so that should be fun.
Speaking of him, my mom is pretty much putting all of her energy and soul into this kid but his unpleasant nature is unrelenting. My mom hoped that he would be grateful and start?trying?to get better, but he’s still the same dick that takes over every single room in the house except my own.
You may think that his problems wouldn’t affect me, but trust me, they do. My mom rarely makes dinner anymore so we usually just eat fast food or shitty microwaveable “meals.” This, of course, is not the healthiest lifestyle so I’ve been feeling pretty shitty physically lately.
She’s extremely paranoid about more run-ins with CPS, so we pretty much have to pretend that our lives are sustainable and definitely not negatively impacting us.
I’m falling back into my habit of spending too much time on the internet after months of making an effort to spend my days in a way that will allow me to actually not have them eradicated from my memory. I mean, my days have been blending together for the past few weeks now; I don’t even remember what I did two days ago.
I recently got into the habit of watching tv a few times a week though, which is nice. I’m currently on season 7 of IASIP. :)
I have a budgie now, which has led me to believe that an animal-related career might not be what I want pursue. It’s great and all, but taking care of her is a pretty lame chore that uses up a lot of the already scarce supply of energy that I have.
Everyone has a really silly, impossible pipe dream; in my case, it’s acting. I’m 16 and I have absolutely no acting experience .
I don’t run everyday anymore.
I can’t even manage to stay up past 12. Out of context, that’s great news, but this is another sign that my body just isn’t healthy.
I haven’t cried..in a really long time..not because I have no reasons to but because I’m stuck in this really shitty middle ground between sadness and apathy.
Like most human beings, I still smile and laugh and joke around; but not often enough.
To wrap this up, I’m too done with life to be happy.
与去年相比，我现在的学习成绩肯定比去年好很多了，但是我现在的状况依然有点糟糕。
因为我最小的弟弟下周五就要做手术了（对此，我并不想细说）。
说到他，我妈妈几乎把她所有的精力和心思全都投入到了这个孩子身上，但是他那无情的本性令人心生厌恶。我的妈妈希望他能心存感激然后努力康复，但他还是那个只会占用我房间的混蛋。
你可能认为他的问题不会影响到我，但是请相信我，他对我的影响非常大。因为他，我妈妈现在很少做饭了，所以我们只能吃外卖或者是低劣的微波炉“餐”。当然，这不是很健康的生活方式，所以我感觉我的身体最近开始变的很糟糕了。
她特别担心这种不健康的生活方式会被儿童保护署发现，从而产生不必要的冲突，所以我们必须得假装我们的生活是很正常的，这种生活方式绝对不会给我们带来任何的负面影响。
经过几个月的努力，我又回到了我从前的生活状态：在互联网上花费大量的时间，这会让我暂时忘记我的生活。我的意思是，在过去的几周里，我一直在混日子。我甚至都不记得我前两天做了什么。
我最近养成了一个星期看几次电视的习惯，这对我来说真的很好。我现在正在看《国际智慧网络》的第七季。
我现在养了一只虎皮鹦鹉，它让我明白了与动物有关的职业可能不是我想要追求的。虽然养它很好，但是照顾它却是件非常无聊的差事，它消耗了我本来就为数不多的精力。
每个人都有一个非常愚蠢、不可能实现的白日梦。对我来说，这个白日梦就是表演。我现在已经16岁了，但是我完全没有任何的表演经验。
我不再每天都跑步了。
我现在熬夜甚至都不能超过12点了。从一方面来说，这也算是个好消息，但是这也是我身体开始变得不健康的另一个迹象。
我已经很久没有哭了，不是因为我没有理由，而是因为我现在被困在了悲伤和冷漠之间。
我就像大多数人一样，每天保持着微笑、大笑，和别人开着玩笑，但是这还不够。
总的来说，我现在已经受够了这样的生活，所以对我来说，没有任何快乐可言。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Arsha Thapa,?Observing for 20 years
My life has never been so bad, but it’s never been so good either.
I graduated high school in 2017. My F-1 visa has been rejected twice. I did not join college here, and I won’t. But 2 years of my life went to waste. I’ve been doing nothing this entire time.
But at the same time, everything I’ve learned in these 2 years, I couldn’t be more thankful for that. I am not giving up on what I’ve wanted for the longest time (for more than 6 years now). I know what rejection tastes like. I am slowly getting out of my depression, and it’s not been easy.
This past month, waking up every day has been a blessing to me.
Before I would be worried about getting through the day, it’s been easier.
Every day when I wake up, I am eternally thankful I won’t be going through the day with overthinking, sadness and suicidal thoughts.
I am grateful I am learning to take control of my thoughts, and I am grateful I didn’t give up.
But things could have been different if I had gotten the visa. Of course my time wouldn’t go to waste, but I also would be hopeless while battling my depression.
This is the longest time I have gone without overthinking, and with?more of?positive thoughts. A month. And it is the longest time I have gone without crying or shutting myself from the world.
I know there are going to be some tough times when I’ll be pulled right back in, but I believe in myself now. I believe I can get through this.
My anger is being managed somehow.
My cousins can see my change, and they’re glad for that.
I now feel ready for many things. I now feel ready to move. I now feel ready to say I want to live. I now feel ready to say depression can be beaten too. I now feel ready to say peace exists.
Few hours ago, I was writing something on my journal. I was in the kitchen. And then a thought passed me.
I told myself, “How long has it been since I’ve felt this peaceful? It feels so unreal.”
But this does not mean I am happy.
I am okay with how my life is going, and I smile all the time.
Being happy felt like a weird concept.?I wondered, what it’s like to be happy?
Of course I have answered questions on happiness.?But without much thought.
Happiness seemed far from my reach, but now I’m stretching and paving my road towards it.
Now at least I know I can be happy too.
Happiness is not out of my league!
I am learning to be happy.
我的生活从未如此糟糕过，但也从未如此美好过。
我于2017年高中毕业。我的F-1签证已经被拒绝两次了。所以我没有在这里上大学，以后也不会在这里上大学。但是我浪费了两年的生命，在这两年里我什么都没做。
但与此同时，这两年来，我学到了很多东西，对此，我感激不尽。我不会放弃我长久以来(6年多以来)追求的梦想。因为我知道被拒绝的滋味。但是我现在正在慢慢地从抑郁症中走出来，虽然这并不容易。
在过去的一个月里，每天早上能够醒来对我来说都是一种福气了。
以前我常常担心，我该如何度过这一天，但是现在对我来说已经轻松多了。
当我每天早上醒来的时候，我都会感激不已，我感激我自己没有在这一天里过度思考，没有产生悲伤和自杀的想法。
我很感激我自己学会了控制自己的思想，我很感激我自己没有放弃。
但如果我得到了签证，情况也许就会有所不同。当然，我的时间也没有白白浪费，但是在与抑郁症做斗争的时候，我还是会感到绝望。
一个月：这是我没有进行过度思考最长的一段时间，在这段时间里，我一直保持着积极的想法。在这一个月里，我没有哭过，也没有把自己封闭起来。
我知道会有一些很艰难的时候，但是我现在相信我自己，我相信我能挺过去。
我的愤怒在某种程度上得到了控制。
我的表兄弟们看到了我的变化，他们都很高兴。
现在我觉得自己已经准备好了，我已经准备好面对很多事情，我已经准备好活下去了。现在我觉得抑郁症也是可以被打败的，我现在终于可以平静地生活了。
几个小时之前，我还在写日记，我当时在厨房里，忽然有个念头出现在我脑中，我问自己：“我有多久没有感到如此平静了？这感觉太不真实了。”
但这并不意味着我很快乐。
我对自己的生活很满意，所以我一直在微笑。
但是“快乐”这个词感觉像是一个奇怪的概念。我想知道，快乐到底是什么感觉？
当然，我回答过关于幸福的问题。但没有多想。
幸福似乎遥不可及，但现在我正在努力为之铺路。
至少现在我知道我也可以很快乐。
但我不配拥有幸福！
My life has never been so bad, but it’s never been so good either.
I graduated high school in 2017. My F-1 visa has been rejected twice. I did not join college here, and I won’t. But 2 years of my life went to waste. I’ve been doing nothing this entire time.
But at the same time, everything I’ve learned in these 2 years, I couldn’t be more thankful for that. I am not giving up on what I’ve wanted for the longest time (for more than 6 years now). I know what rejection tastes like. I am slowly getting out of my depression, and it’s not been easy.
This past month, waking up every day has been a blessing to me.
Before I would be worried about getting through the day, it’s been easier.
Every day when I wake up, I am eternally thankful I won’t be going through the day with overthinking, sadness and suicidal thoughts.
I am grateful I am learning to take control of my thoughts, and I am grateful I didn’t give up.
But things could have been different if I had gotten the visa. Of course my time wouldn’t go to waste, but I also would be hopeless while battling my depression.
This is the longest time I have gone without overthinking, and with?more of?positive thoughts. A month. And it is the longest time I have gone without crying or shutting myself from the world.
I know there are going to be some tough times when I’ll be pulled right back in, but I believe in myself now. I believe I can get through this.
My anger is being managed somehow.
My cousins can see my change, and they’re glad for that.
I now feel ready for many things. I now feel ready to move. I now feel ready to say I want to live. I now feel ready to say depression can be beaten too. I now feel ready to say peace exists.
Few hours ago, I was writing something on my journal. I was in the kitchen. And then a thought passed me.
I told myself, “How long has it been since I’ve felt this peaceful? It feels so unreal.”
But this does not mean I am happy.
I am okay with how my life is going, and I smile all the time.
Being happy felt like a weird concept.?I wondered, what it’s like to be happy?
Of course I have answered questions on happiness.?But without much thought.
Happiness seemed far from my reach, but now I’m stretching and paving my road towards it.
Now at least I know I can be happy too.
Happiness is not out of my league!
I am learning to be happy.
我的生活从未如此糟糕过，但也从未如此美好过。
我于2017年高中毕业。我的F-1签证已经被拒绝两次了。所以我没有在这里上大学，以后也不会在这里上大学。但是我浪费了两年的生命，在这两年里我什么都没做。
但与此同时，这两年来，我学到了很多东西，对此，我感激不尽。我不会放弃我长久以来(6年多以来)追求的梦想。因为我知道被拒绝的滋味。但是我现在正在慢慢地从抑郁症中走出来，虽然这并不容易。
在过去的一个月里，每天早上能够醒来对我来说都是一种福气了。
以前我常常担心，我该如何度过这一天，但是现在对我来说已经轻松多了。
当我每天早上醒来的时候，我都会感激不已，我感激我自己没有在这一天里过度思考，没有产生悲伤和自杀的想法。
我很感激我自己学会了控制自己的思想，我很感激我自己没有放弃。
但如果我得到了签证，情况也许就会有所不同。当然，我的时间也没有白白浪费，但是在与抑郁症做斗争的时候，我还是会感到绝望。
一个月：这是我没有进行过度思考最长的一段时间，在这段时间里，我一直保持着积极的想法。在这一个月里，我没有哭过，也没有把自己封闭起来。
我知道会有一些很艰难的时候，但是我现在相信我自己，我相信我能挺过去。
我的愤怒在某种程度上得到了控制。
我的表兄弟们看到了我的变化，他们都很高兴。
现在我觉得自己已经准备好了，我已经准备好面对很多事情，我已经准备好活下去了。现在我觉得抑郁症也是可以被打败的，我现在终于可以平静地生活了。
几个小时之前，我还在写日记，我当时在厨房里，忽然有个念头出现在我脑中，我问自己：“我有多久没有感到如此平静了？这感觉太不真实了。”
但这并不意味着我很快乐。
我对自己的生活很满意，所以我一直在微笑。
但是“快乐”这个词感觉像是一个奇怪的概念。我想知道，快乐到底是什么感觉？
当然，我回答过关于幸福的问题。但没有多想。
幸福似乎遥不可及，但现在我正在努力为之铺路。
至少现在我知道我也可以很快乐。
但我不配拥有幸福！
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