有哪些原因可以解释为什么印度人出国定居时会感到沮丧?（一）
正文翻译
What are some reasons to explain why Indians get depressed when they go abroad to settle?
有哪些原因可以解释为什么印度人出国定居时会感到沮丧?
What are some reasons to explain why Indians get depressed when they go abroad to settle?
有哪些原因可以解释为什么印度人出国定居时会感到沮丧?
评论翻译
Anonymous
I am an Indian female living in US for past 2 years. I came here on H1B for work and my husband is currently a student pursuing full time masters course.
I have to say that I agree with this as I have experienced it. I am going to state my personal experience and in no way implying it will apply to everyone.
I am a people’s person - I used to be an extrovert and very social. But once I came here it was a drastic change that took too much to cope. Apart from trying hard to fit in with work culture, my social life took a severe beating. I did try to take in the right spirit and looked at it as something exciting/new to learn but figuring out everything on your own from scratch can be a lot.
We initially stayed in an Indian community but that didn’t really help. The saying is true that to feel lonely you have to be with a group of people who make you feel that. It is amazing how much they can hate new comers! They feel entitled that they are here before you and try to put you down. Many of them couldn’t digest that I was earning and my husband was studying, so that automatically kept me out of the wives club.
我是一名印度女性，在美国生活了两年。我是持有H1B签证来这里工作的，我丈夫目前是一名攻读全日制硕士课程的学生。
不得不说，我赞同这一点，因为我已经经历过了。我将陈述我的个人经历，但绝不意味着这会适用于每个人。
我爱热闹——我曾经是一个外向的人，非常喜欢社交。但我来到这里后，发生了巨大的变化，我发现很难应付。除了努力融入工作文化之外，我的社交生活也受到了严重打击。我确实试着维持正确的精神状态，并将其视为一种令人兴奋/新的学习方式，但从头开始自己搞清楚所有事情可能会很困难。
我们最初住在一个印度社区，但这并没有带来什么帮助。俗话说得对，要感到孤独，你必须和一群让你感到孤独的人在一起。令人惊讶的是，他们竟然如此讨厌新来的人！他们觉得自己有资格比你先过来，并试图贬低你。她们中的许多人无法接受我在挣钱，而我丈夫在读书，所以我自然而然地被排除在妻子俱乐部之外。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I am an Indian female living in US for past 2 years. I came here on H1B for work and my husband is currently a student pursuing full time masters course.
I have to say that I agree with this as I have experienced it. I am going to state my personal experience and in no way implying it will apply to everyone.
I am a people’s person - I used to be an extrovert and very social. But once I came here it was a drastic change that took too much to cope. Apart from trying hard to fit in with work culture, my social life took a severe beating. I did try to take in the right spirit and looked at it as something exciting/new to learn but figuring out everything on your own from scratch can be a lot.
We initially stayed in an Indian community but that didn’t really help. The saying is true that to feel lonely you have to be with a group of people who make you feel that. It is amazing how much they can hate new comers! They feel entitled that they are here before you and try to put you down. Many of them couldn’t digest that I was earning and my husband was studying, so that automatically kept me out of the wives club.
我是一名印度女性，在美国生活了两年。我是持有H1B签证来这里工作的，我丈夫目前是一名攻读全日制硕士课程的学生。
不得不说，我赞同这一点，因为我已经经历过了。我将陈述我的个人经历，但绝不意味着这会适用于每个人。
我爱热闹——我曾经是一个外向的人，非常喜欢社交。但我来到这里后，发生了巨大的变化，我发现很难应付。除了努力融入工作文化之外，我的社交生活也受到了严重打击。我确实试着维持正确的精神状态，并将其视为一种令人兴奋/新的学习方式，但从头开始自己搞清楚所有事情可能会很困难。
我们最初住在一个印度社区，但这并没有带来什么帮助。俗话说得对，要感到孤独，你必须和一群让你感到孤独的人在一起。令人惊讶的是，他们竟然如此讨厌新来的人！他们觉得自己有资格比你先过来，并试图贬低你。她们中的许多人无法接受我在挣钱，而我丈夫在读书，所以我自然而然地被排除在妻子俱乐部之外。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
The thing that I think did me in was lack of meaningful emotional and peer support. My husband is very supportive but he is busy in his course. He at least gets to interact with his peers - I tried to make friends with his college friends and their partners but again they have their own groups and will mingle only if it suits their convenience, no one will go out of their way to form meaningful relationships.
I took a lot of time to come in terms with this - for a person with a very busy social life, great family and friends this was the hardest pill to swallow. I am not someone who likes sitting at home and just watching TV, I really feel it’s a massive waste of time; neither am I materialistic to go shopping every other day or work towards gaining material possessions - I feel that is shallow and has no meaning. I am more about new experiences - I go out of my way to meet people and accommodate them but it is very rare that people you meet are in the same place in life as you are - they will have different responsibilities or priorities or kids.
我认为对我造成影响的是缺乏有意义的情感和同伴支持。我丈夫很支持我，但他的功课很多。他至少可以和同龄人交流——我试着和他的大学朋友和他们的伴侣交朋友，但他们也有自己的团体，只有在方便的时候才会混在一起，没有人会特意去建立有意义的关系。
我花了很多时间来接受这个事实——对于一个社交生活曾经非常繁忙、家庭和朋友都很好的人来说，这是最难接受的事情。我不是那种喜欢坐在家里看电视的人，我真的觉得这是在浪费时间;我也不是物质主义者，每隔一天就去购物，或者为了获得物质财富而工作——我觉得那很肤浅，没有任何意义。我更喜欢新的体验——我会尽力与人见面并接纳他们，但很少会遇到和你处于同一生活层次的人——他们会有不同的责任、优先事项或有孩子。
I took a lot of time to come in terms with this - for a person with a very busy social life, great family and friends this was the hardest pill to swallow. I am not someone who likes sitting at home and just watching TV, I really feel it’s a massive waste of time; neither am I materialistic to go shopping every other day or work towards gaining material possessions - I feel that is shallow and has no meaning. I am more about new experiences - I go out of my way to meet people and accommodate them but it is very rare that people you meet are in the same place in life as you are - they will have different responsibilities or priorities or kids.
我认为对我造成影响的是缺乏有意义的情感和同伴支持。我丈夫很支持我，但他的功课很多。他至少可以和同龄人交流——我试着和他的大学朋友和他们的伴侣交朋友，但他们也有自己的团体，只有在方便的时候才会混在一起，没有人会特意去建立有意义的关系。
我花了很多时间来接受这个事实——对于一个社交生活曾经非常繁忙、家庭和朋友都很好的人来说，这是最难接受的事情。我不是那种喜欢坐在家里看电视的人，我真的觉得这是在浪费时间;我也不是物质主义者，每隔一天就去购物，或者为了获得物质财富而工作——我觉得那很肤浅，没有任何意义。我更喜欢新的体验——我会尽力与人见面并接纳他们，但很少会遇到和你处于同一生活层次的人——他们会有不同的责任、优先事项或有孩子。
I started to feel that is this all there is to life? I am in US, working here, seeing new places, now what?! I could feel myself going down day by day. I missed people back home, the familiarity, food, everything. I was forced to question my own purpose to life, what goals do I have, why exactly I moved here, what do I gain out of this day in and out! You would become hyper aware of everything around and within you - your flaws begin to look like massive failures! I even started thinking life will be worse when I have a kid - it would be difficult to teach it Indian culture (I am not religious though I enjoyed celebrating festivals back home) and difficult for us to digest if it follows only American culture when we ourselves are new to it! It was just a vicious downward spiral.
To this day this is something I deal with constantly in my head - I am always very aware that I don’t have friends or social life here. I am trying to be at peace with situations, shift focus on improving me and not crave people’s company all the time. I now understand why so many choose to keep to themselves and not invest too much on friends. But it is a really hard to change yourself based on situations alone when you don’t even want to in the first place.
我开始觉察到，难道这就是生活的全部？我在美国，在这里工作，看到了新的地方，现在怎么办？我能感觉到自己一天比一天沮丧。我想念家乡的人，想念熟悉的环境，想念食物，想念一切。我被迫质疑自己的人生目标，我有什么目标，我为什么搬到这里来，我从这一天里得到了什么！你会对你周围和内心的一切变得高度警觉——你的缺陷开始看起来像是巨大的失败！我甚至开始想，当我有了孩子后，生活将会更糟——很难教他印度文化(我没有宗教信仰，尽管我在家乡喜欢庆祝节日)，如果只遵循美国文化，而我们自己都刚开始接触美国文化时，我们会很难理解它!这是一个恶性循环。直到今天，这是我脑子里一直在处理的事情——我一直很清楚，我在这里没有朋友，也没有社交生活。我试着平和地面对各种情况，把注意力转移到提高自己上，而不是一直渴望别人的陪伴。我现在明白了为什么那么多人选择独处，不把太多的钱花在朋友身上。但是，当你一开始就不想改变自己，仅仅根据情况来改变自己就真的很难。
To this day this is something I deal with constantly in my head - I am always very aware that I don’t have friends or social life here. I am trying to be at peace with situations, shift focus on improving me and not crave people’s company all the time. I now understand why so many choose to keep to themselves and not invest too much on friends. But it is a really hard to change yourself based on situations alone when you don’t even want to in the first place.
我开始觉察到，难道这就是生活的全部？我在美国，在这里工作，看到了新的地方，现在怎么办？我能感觉到自己一天比一天沮丧。我想念家乡的人，想念熟悉的环境，想念食物，想念一切。我被迫质疑自己的人生目标，我有什么目标，我为什么搬到这里来，我从这一天里得到了什么！你会对你周围和内心的一切变得高度警觉——你的缺陷开始看起来像是巨大的失败！我甚至开始想，当我有了孩子后，生活将会更糟——很难教他印度文化(我没有宗教信仰，尽管我在家乡喜欢庆祝节日)，如果只遵循美国文化，而我们自己都刚开始接触美国文化时，我们会很难理解它!这是一个恶性循环。直到今天，这是我脑子里一直在处理的事情——我一直很清楚，我在这里没有朋友，也没有社交生活。我试着平和地面对各种情况，把注意力转移到提高自己上，而不是一直渴望别人的陪伴。我现在明白了为什么那么多人选择独处，不把太多的钱花在朋友身上。但是，当你一开始就不想改变自己，仅仅根据情况来改变自己就真的很难。
If you are a kind of person for whom work is everything or have various other interests in life, then yes, this is a great place to be in but if you are someone who is totally a people’s person it is not a great idea to settle here.
The biggest takeaway for me from this experience is to find my purpose in life and work towards it. And yes, to move back to India eventually. This has been an interesting experience but I have realized nothing can be more meaningful and valuable than spending time with your loved ones and going back to your roots!
如果你是那种工作就是一切或者生活中有各种其他兴趣的人，那么是的，这是一个很好的地方，但如果你非常爱热闹，那么在这里定居就不是一个好主意。
这段经历给我带来的最大收获是找到我的人生目标并努力实现。是的，最终搬回了印度。这是一次有趣的经历，但我意识到，没有什么比与你所爱的人共度时光并回归本源更有意义和价值了！
The biggest takeaway for me from this experience is to find my purpose in life and work towards it. And yes, to move back to India eventually. This has been an interesting experience but I have realized nothing can be more meaningful and valuable than spending time with your loved ones and going back to your roots!
如果你是那种工作就是一切或者生活中有各种其他兴趣的人，那么是的，这是一个很好的地方，但如果你非常爱热闹，那么在这里定居就不是一个好主意。
这段经历给我带来的最大收获是找到我的人生目标并努力实现。是的，最终搬回了印度。这是一次有趣的经历，但我意识到，没有什么比与你所爱的人共度时光并回归本源更有意义和价值了！
Samyami Chowdhury
As a british born Indian,and someone who’s always lived in the UK, I’m very much in touch with my roots; fluently speaking my mother tongue and preserving the musical and cultural traditions. I can attempt to answer this question through the experiences of some extremely close people around me, my observations and own experience.
Moving abroad, is not an easy decision at all. I couldn’t do it. From what I’ve seen, a lot of people who move from India, don’t necessarily do it from a deep desire to do it, it’s more like an expectation. An expectation from themselves. A way to prove to those around them that they are becoming successful and willing to make their dreams come alive. An expectation of others/society; if you’re doing well, you must be going abroad! It’s the unnecessary strain people put on themselves.
The people who usually move abroad are mostly ambitious, highly skilled, intelligent, independent, forward thinking and adventurous individuals. They meticulously plan their careers and strive to climb that ladder until there’s nothing left to climb. Usually, once they move abroad, the career aspect is fine! The problem, is the social and day to day living side…
作为一个出生在英国的印度人，我一直生活在英国，我于印度有很深的联系；流利地说我的母语，并保留音乐和文化传统。我可以尝试通过我周围一些非常亲密的人的经历、我的观察和自己的经历来回答这个问题。
移居国外不是一个容易的决定，我做不到。据我所见，很多从印度搬来的人并不一定是出于内心深处的渴望，而是一种期望，对他们自己的期望。这是一种向周围的人证明他们正在成功，并愿意让梦想成真的方式。他人/社会的期望，如果你混得好，你一定要出国!这是人们给自己施加的不必要的压力。
通常移居国外的人大多是雄心勃勃、高技能、聪明、独立、有远见和冒险精神的人。他们精心规划自己的职业生涯，努力攀登这一阶梯，直到爬不动为止。通常，一旦他们移居国外，职业方面就会很好!问题在于社会和日常生活方面……
As a british born Indian,and someone who’s always lived in the UK, I’m very much in touch with my roots; fluently speaking my mother tongue and preserving the musical and cultural traditions. I can attempt to answer this question through the experiences of some extremely close people around me, my observations and own experience.
Moving abroad, is not an easy decision at all. I couldn’t do it. From what I’ve seen, a lot of people who move from India, don’t necessarily do it from a deep desire to do it, it’s more like an expectation. An expectation from themselves. A way to prove to those around them that they are becoming successful and willing to make their dreams come alive. An expectation of others/society; if you’re doing well, you must be going abroad! It’s the unnecessary strain people put on themselves.
The people who usually move abroad are mostly ambitious, highly skilled, intelligent, independent, forward thinking and adventurous individuals. They meticulously plan their careers and strive to climb that ladder until there’s nothing left to climb. Usually, once they move abroad, the career aspect is fine! The problem, is the social and day to day living side…
作为一个出生在英国的印度人，我一直生活在英国，我于印度有很深的联系；流利地说我的母语，并保留音乐和文化传统。我可以尝试通过我周围一些非常亲密的人的经历、我的观察和自己的经历来回答这个问题。
移居国外不是一个容易的决定，我做不到。据我所见，很多从印度搬来的人并不一定是出于内心深处的渴望，而是一种期望，对他们自己的期望。这是一种向周围的人证明他们正在成功，并愿意让梦想成真的方式。他人/社会的期望，如果你混得好，你一定要出国!这是人们给自己施加的不必要的压力。
通常移居国外的人大多是雄心勃勃、高技能、聪明、独立、有远见和冒险精神的人。他们精心规划自己的职业生涯，努力攀登这一阶梯，直到爬不动为止。通常，一旦他们移居国外，职业方面就会很好!问题在于社会和日常生活方面……
The western world is not an easy world. There are no maids, no drivers, less good will, no unconditionally trustworthy neighbours, no shops open all hours, no real and true sense of community, no festivals comparable to those in India, no concern from people around you. In India, people usually belong to a giant communal society that share every moment with them from weddings to funerals, good grades to first car….i’m not talking about just a “congratulations card”. There will be a HUGE celebration, or at least people filling up your house with sweets and gifts to mark the occasion (congratulating your parents more than congratulating you). With any achievement or good news, the response is usually “Great!When’s the party”. In the west it really is a congratulations card, handshake and maybe a drink 2–3 weeks later, in a bar where everyone will pay for their own drinks.But have a think,of the masses of people who come to congratulate you in India, how many are genuine well wishers?
It is different. But no-one tells you this. No-one shares these experiences. Most Indians/Asians from the west play up their actual lives when they go back to India (Or don't correct the massive over estimation and perception the people in their home countries have about what their lives may be living abroad). They over exaggerate their actual achievements. They downplay and cover up any major failures and struggles. I’ve seen it. Multiple times. In India, people find out EXACTLY what has happened. You can’t get away with just an “oh i’ve changed jobs, i didn’t like where i was working”. No, in India, they will find out that you were actually fired from under performing, given several warnings and ultimately forced to resign, giving up all your luxuries including the car that you took pictures of and showed your favourite Aunty. They’ll also find out you had a fling with the girl in your team (who was actually already dating Mr So and So’s son) and that you had several girlfriends prior to this.
西方世界不是一个轻松的世界。没有女佣，没有司机，没有善意，没有无条件值得信赖的邻居，没有全天候营业的商店，没有真正的社区意识，没有可与印度相提并论的节日，没有周围人的关心。在印度，人们通常属于一个巨大的公共社会，从婚礼到葬礼，从好成绩到第一辆车....，每个时刻都与他们分享…我说的不仅仅是一张“祝贺卡”，将会有一个盛大的庆祝活动，或者至少人们会用糖果和礼物填满你的房子来纪念这个时刻(祝贺你的父母多于祝贺你)。对于任何成就或好消息，人们的反应通常是“太好了!”什么时候开派对呀?”。在西方，就真的是一张祝贺卡，握手，也许两三周后在酒吧里喝一杯，每个人都会为自己的饮料买单。但是，想想看，在印度来祝贺你的人中，有多少人是真正的祝福者？
这是不同的。但没人告诉你，没有人分享这些经历。大多数来自西方的印度人/亚洲人回到印度后都会夸大他们的实际生活(或者不纠正他们祖国人民对他们在国外生活的过度估计和看法)。他们过分夸大自己的实际成就。他们淡化和掩盖任何重大的失败和挣扎。我见过很多次了。在印度，人们知道到底发生了什么。你不能只说一句“哦，我换了工作，我不喜欢我以前工作的地方”就了事。不，在印度，他们会发现你实际上是因表现不佳而被解雇的，受到了几次警告，最终被迫辞职，放弃你所有的奢侈品，包括你给你最喜欢的阿姨拍照的车;他们还会发现你和你团队里的一个女孩(她实际上已经在和某某先生的儿子约会了)有过一段风流韵事，而且知道在此之前你有过几个女朋友。
It is different. But no-one tells you this. No-one shares these experiences. Most Indians/Asians from the west play up their actual lives when they go back to India (Or don't correct the massive over estimation and perception the people in their home countries have about what their lives may be living abroad). They over exaggerate their actual achievements. They downplay and cover up any major failures and struggles. I’ve seen it. Multiple times. In India, people find out EXACTLY what has happened. You can’t get away with just an “oh i’ve changed jobs, i didn’t like where i was working”. No, in India, they will find out that you were actually fired from under performing, given several warnings and ultimately forced to resign, giving up all your luxuries including the car that you took pictures of and showed your favourite Aunty. They’ll also find out you had a fling with the girl in your team (who was actually already dating Mr So and So’s son) and that you had several girlfriends prior to this.
西方世界不是一个轻松的世界。没有女佣，没有司机，没有善意，没有无条件值得信赖的邻居，没有全天候营业的商店，没有真正的社区意识，没有可与印度相提并论的节日，没有周围人的关心。在印度，人们通常属于一个巨大的公共社会，从婚礼到葬礼，从好成绩到第一辆车....，每个时刻都与他们分享…我说的不仅仅是一张“祝贺卡”，将会有一个盛大的庆祝活动，或者至少人们会用糖果和礼物填满你的房子来纪念这个时刻(祝贺你的父母多于祝贺你)。对于任何成就或好消息，人们的反应通常是“太好了!”什么时候开派对呀?”。在西方，就真的是一张祝贺卡，握手，也许两三周后在酒吧里喝一杯，每个人都会为自己的饮料买单。但是，想想看，在印度来祝贺你的人中，有多少人是真正的祝福者？
这是不同的。但没人告诉你，没有人分享这些经历。大多数来自西方的印度人/亚洲人回到印度后都会夸大他们的实际生活(或者不纠正他们祖国人民对他们在国外生活的过度估计和看法)。他们过分夸大自己的实际成就。他们淡化和掩盖任何重大的失败和挣扎。我见过很多次了。在印度，人们知道到底发生了什么。你不能只说一句“哦，我换了工作，我不喜欢我以前工作的地方”就了事。不，在印度，他们会发现你实际上是因表现不佳而被解雇的，受到了几次警告，最终被迫辞职，放弃你所有的奢侈品，包括你给你最喜欢的阿姨拍照的车;他们还会发现你和你团队里的一个女孩(她实际上已经在和某某先生的儿子约会了)有过一段风流韵事，而且知道在此之前你有过几个女朋友。
There’s less privacy in India. In the western world, yes customs, norms and the culture are different and sometimes cold and not so welcoming. But you’re given space. You’re give freedom and privacy. No-one will get into your business. No-one will go the extra effort to find out what really went on in that office or between you and your partner/spouse…because frankly, no-one really has time to care!Those who wish you well really mean it. Those who dislike you stay quiet.You know who’s who. Their manners and social behaviours are different.
Part of moving abroad, is for personal growth. An opportunity for you to really discover who you are and what you’re capable of.
Comparing your new country to your old one is always a recipe for disaster. In a moment when you’re feeling low, you’ll count 100 disadvantages to moving abroad and the“why didn’t I just stay!!”
The advantages of living abroad are suddenly brought to life when you return to India.
Change is never easy. Doesn’t matter how big or small that change is, it is always a challenge and needs adjustment.
印度的隐私较少。在西方世界，习俗、规范和文化不同，人们有时很冷漠，你也不那么受欢迎。但你有了空间，你得到了自由和隐私。没有人会插手你的事。没有人会花额外的精力去了解办公室里或者你和你的伴侣/配偶之间到底发生了什么……因为坦率地说，没有人真的有时间去关心这些事！那些祝福你的人是真心的，那些不喜欢你的人保持沉默。你知道谁是谁，他们的举止和社交行为各不相同。
移居国外，一部分是为了个人成长，这是一个让你真正发现自己和自己能力的机会。
拿你的新国家和你的旧国家作比较总是会导致灾难。当你情绪低落的时候，你会数出移居国外的100个缺点，然后说“我为什么不留下呢!”
当你回到印度时，生活在国外的好处就会突然显现出来。
改变从来都不容易。无论变化是大是小，它总是一个挑战，需要调整。
Part of moving abroad, is for personal growth. An opportunity for you to really discover who you are and what you’re capable of.
Comparing your new country to your old one is always a recipe for disaster. In a moment when you’re feeling low, you’ll count 100 disadvantages to moving abroad and the“why didn’t I just stay!!”
The advantages of living abroad are suddenly brought to life when you return to India.
Change is never easy. Doesn’t matter how big or small that change is, it is always a challenge and needs adjustment.
印度的隐私较少。在西方世界，习俗、规范和文化不同，人们有时很冷漠，你也不那么受欢迎。但你有了空间，你得到了自由和隐私。没有人会插手你的事。没有人会花额外的精力去了解办公室里或者你和你的伴侣/配偶之间到底发生了什么……因为坦率地说，没有人真的有时间去关心这些事！那些祝福你的人是真心的，那些不喜欢你的人保持沉默。你知道谁是谁，他们的举止和社交行为各不相同。
移居国外，一部分是为了个人成长，这是一个让你真正发现自己和自己能力的机会。
拿你的新国家和你的旧国家作比较总是会导致灾难。当你情绪低落的时候，你会数出移居国外的100个缺点，然后说“我为什么不留下呢!”
当你回到印度时，生活在国外的好处就会突然显现出来。
改变从来都不容易。无论变化是大是小，它总是一个挑战，需要调整。
There may be less social events, less people around you and less of all the stuff you miss from home. But it’s not India. It’s called a different country for a reason. It never was going to be the same. If you make the effort to get to know your surroundings, seek out the fun things to do and see, meet new and interesting people; you’re more likely to build your own community comprised of open minds, non-judgement, genuine friendship and Loyalty.
Surely in the long run, that has more value.
Depression is a clinical state, a medical diagnosis. always easier to blame your surroundings and the people around you.
Are you really “depressed” or are you just not adjusting to change? Not adjusting to what your expectations were versus reality? Not adjusting to the image you had of yourself whilst living abroad? Are you really lonely? Or have you just not found the type of people you thought you would?
Searching within yourself and being comfortable with your own sense of self is a much healthier way to combat any form of loneliness.
Find your self, and you’ll be happy regardless of the country.
社交活动可能会减少，你身边的人也会减少，你想念家里的东西也会减少，但这不是印度，它被称为不同的国家是有原因的，也将永远不会是一样的。如果你努力了解周围的环境，寻找有趣的事情去做，去看，去认识新的有趣的人；你更有可能建立自己的社区，包括开放的思想，不评判，真正的友谊和忠诚。
从长远来看，这当然更有价值。
沮丧是一种临床状态，是一种医学诊断，总是更容易责怪你周围的环境和你周围的人。
你真的很“沮丧”吗？还是你只是没有适应变化？没有调整你的期望与现实？没有调整你在国外生活时的形象？你真的很孤独吗？或者你只是没有找到你认为会找到的那种人？
寻找自己的内心，对自己的自我感觉感到舒适，是对抗任何形式的孤独的一种更健康的方式。
找到你自己，不管在哪个国家，你都会快乐。
Surely in the long run, that has more value.
Depression is a clinical state, a medical diagnosis. always easier to blame your surroundings and the people around you.
Are you really “depressed” or are you just not adjusting to change? Not adjusting to what your expectations were versus reality? Not adjusting to the image you had of yourself whilst living abroad? Are you really lonely? Or have you just not found the type of people you thought you would?
Searching within yourself and being comfortable with your own sense of self is a much healthier way to combat any form of loneliness.
Find your self, and you’ll be happy regardless of the country.
社交活动可能会减少，你身边的人也会减少，你想念家里的东西也会减少，但这不是印度，它被称为不同的国家是有原因的，也将永远不会是一样的。如果你努力了解周围的环境，寻找有趣的事情去做，去看，去认识新的有趣的人；你更有可能建立自己的社区，包括开放的思想，不评判，真正的友谊和忠诚。
从长远来看，这当然更有价值。
沮丧是一种临床状态，是一种医学诊断，总是更容易责怪你周围的环境和你周围的人。
你真的很“沮丧”吗？还是你只是没有适应变化？没有调整你的期望与现实？没有调整你在国外生活时的形象？你真的很孤独吗？或者你只是没有找到你认为会找到的那种人？
寻找自己的内心，对自己的自我感觉感到舒适，是对抗任何形式的孤独的一种更健康的方式。
找到你自己，不管在哪个国家，你都会快乐。
Anonymous
I came to USA 1 month ago. From the day I came till today I have been crying daily. Every single morning when I wake up and see the empty room tears start rolling down my cheeks thinking that I am alone. All alone. No family, no friends. I come from a huge family. The most frightening time of the day was morning. I feel that some part of me has started to die since the day I started staying alone. I get a strong feeling in the morning that I want to leave everything and go back to India where my family is, where my comfort it. Somehow I could not take that step. My parents are very supportive and told me that if I am not liking it there I should come back instead of just getting so upset about it. I am stuck between two sides. One side tells me to go back to India and the other tells me to stay here and fulfill my dream. I think of going back to India but then I get thoughts like-What will I do after I go back? I will be ashamed of myself. I will get more disturbed and will cry thinking that I missed on an opportunity. These thoughts make it difficult to go back. Then the option is staying in USA, I want to stay here but do not want to wake up alone. I cant stay alone. Its the most difficult time to spend. Coming from a joint family background I am very used to staying with more people and in lot of noise. Staying here is opposite. In my 22 years I have never stayed like this. All my close ones are so supportive and tell me to stay busy keep my mind occupied but somehow I cannot keep it away from the thought that I AM ALONE. It never goes out from my mind. One month made me realize the importance my family holds in my life. I do not know if I would be able t o settle here or not. I knew it was going to be difficult to stay here when I left India, but I did not know I was so weak mentally. I did not know staying alone was so difficult. I had set a few goals to achieve, goals that I wanted to fulfill. But after coming here somehow they have all disappeared. My new goal is to adapt to these changes. The inner peace that one needs to stay happy is lost. I am losing myself here. I am losing the charm and the happiness I used to have. I do not know how to get it back.
我一个月前来到美国。从我来的那天到今天，我每天都在哭。每天早晨，当我醒来看到空荡荡的房间时，我的眼泪就会顺着脸颊滚落下来，心想我是一个人了，没有家人，没有朋友。我来自一个大家庭，一天中最可怕的时刻是早晨。从我开始独处的那一天起，我觉得我的某些部分就开始死亡了。早上我有一种强烈的感觉，我想抛下一切，回到我的家人所在的印度，在那里我感到舒适。不知为什么，我不能迈出这一步。我的父母非常支持我，并告诉我，如果我不喜欢那里，我应该回来，而不是为此感到沮丧。我陷入了进退两难的境地：一边告诉我回印度，另一边告诉我留在这里，实现我的梦想。我想回印度，但后来我想，回去后我该怎么办？我会为自己感到羞愧。想到错过了一个机会，我会更加不安，会哭。这些想法让人很难回头。然后选择留在美国，我想留在这里，但不想独自醒来。我不能一个人呆着。这是最难度过的时光。我来自一个联合家庭，我非常习惯和更多的人呆在一起，生活在有很多噪音的环境中。这里却是相反的情况，在我22年的时间里，我从来没有这样呆过。我所有的亲人都非常支持我，并告诉我要保持忙碌，让我的大脑忙碌起来，但不知何故，我无法不去想我是孤独的。这件事一直萦绕在我的脑海里，这一个月让我意识到家庭在我生命中的重要性。我不知道我是否能在这里定居下来。当我离开印度时，我知道留在这里会很困难，但我不知道我的精神如此脆弱。我不知道一个人呆着这么难。我设定了一些要实现的目标，我想要去实现这些目标。但不知怎么的，来到这里后，它们都消失了。我的新目标是适应这些变化，保持快乐所需要的内心平静已经失去。我在这里迷失了自我。我正在失去我曾经拥有的魅力和幸福，我不知道怎么把它拿回来。
I came to USA 1 month ago. From the day I came till today I have been crying daily. Every single morning when I wake up and see the empty room tears start rolling down my cheeks thinking that I am alone. All alone. No family, no friends. I come from a huge family. The most frightening time of the day was morning. I feel that some part of me has started to die since the day I started staying alone. I get a strong feeling in the morning that I want to leave everything and go back to India where my family is, where my comfort it. Somehow I could not take that step. My parents are very supportive and told me that if I am not liking it there I should come back instead of just getting so upset about it. I am stuck between two sides. One side tells me to go back to India and the other tells me to stay here and fulfill my dream. I think of going back to India but then I get thoughts like-What will I do after I go back? I will be ashamed of myself. I will get more disturbed and will cry thinking that I missed on an opportunity. These thoughts make it difficult to go back. Then the option is staying in USA, I want to stay here but do not want to wake up alone. I cant stay alone. Its the most difficult time to spend. Coming from a joint family background I am very used to staying with more people and in lot of noise. Staying here is opposite. In my 22 years I have never stayed like this. All my close ones are so supportive and tell me to stay busy keep my mind occupied but somehow I cannot keep it away from the thought that I AM ALONE. It never goes out from my mind. One month made me realize the importance my family holds in my life. I do not know if I would be able t o settle here or not. I knew it was going to be difficult to stay here when I left India, but I did not know I was so weak mentally. I did not know staying alone was so difficult. I had set a few goals to achieve, goals that I wanted to fulfill. But after coming here somehow they have all disappeared. My new goal is to adapt to these changes. The inner peace that one needs to stay happy is lost. I am losing myself here. I am losing the charm and the happiness I used to have. I do not know how to get it back.
我一个月前来到美国。从我来的那天到今天，我每天都在哭。每天早晨，当我醒来看到空荡荡的房间时，我的眼泪就会顺着脸颊滚落下来，心想我是一个人了，没有家人，没有朋友。我来自一个大家庭，一天中最可怕的时刻是早晨。从我开始独处的那一天起，我觉得我的某些部分就开始死亡了。早上我有一种强烈的感觉，我想抛下一切，回到我的家人所在的印度，在那里我感到舒适。不知为什么，我不能迈出这一步。我的父母非常支持我，并告诉我，如果我不喜欢那里，我应该回来，而不是为此感到沮丧。我陷入了进退两难的境地：一边告诉我回印度，另一边告诉我留在这里，实现我的梦想。我想回印度，但后来我想，回去后我该怎么办？我会为自己感到羞愧。想到错过了一个机会，我会更加不安，会哭。这些想法让人很难回头。然后选择留在美国，我想留在这里，但不想独自醒来。我不能一个人呆着。这是最难度过的时光。我来自一个联合家庭，我非常习惯和更多的人呆在一起，生活在有很多噪音的环境中。这里却是相反的情况，在我22年的时间里，我从来没有这样呆过。我所有的亲人都非常支持我，并告诉我要保持忙碌，让我的大脑忙碌起来，但不知何故，我无法不去想我是孤独的。这件事一直萦绕在我的脑海里，这一个月让我意识到家庭在我生命中的重要性。我不知道我是否能在这里定居下来。当我离开印度时，我知道留在这里会很困难，但我不知道我的精神如此脆弱。我不知道一个人呆着这么难。我设定了一些要实现的目标，我想要去实现这些目标。但不知怎么的，来到这里后，它们都消失了。我的新目标是适应这些变化，保持快乐所需要的内心平静已经失去。我在这里迷失了自我。我正在失去我曾经拥有的魅力和幸福，我不知道怎么把它拿回来。
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